ThanksLiving mini-series, post #3
Quick recap of the series so far:
- #1 peaceful way to discuss dietary choices
- How to WOW guests with outside the box recipes
If this is your first vegan Thanksgiving (or your 10th) you might feel a little sad or nostalgic or like you’re missing out…
There’s nothing to be ashamed about if that happens.
FOMO is real and I get it with all kinds of things---even when it’s something I’d normally not want or be interested in.
For example, this store was out of my size in pink shoes. I can’t ever see myself wearing pink shoes but somehow a sign “we’re out of sizes 6-9” set me into boo-hoo land.
Let’s talk about FOMO.
(The Fear Of Missing Out)
Here’s what FOMO thoughts sound like:
- OMG, there’s so much food I can’t have
- I can’t stop thinking about all the food I can’t eat
- Office gatherings are so awkward now
- I feel bad about myself when I see other’s plates.
- I’m jealous and angry at friends’ Instagram post
- I miss eating ____ during this time of year
- I can’t go to that party because they won’t have vegan food
Basically, any time you focus on what you “can’t have”... that’s FOMO.
And if you find yourself feeling resentful at your friends, your family, your diet, your weight, yourself, the weather, or literally anything… that’s FOMO too.
These are really lousy feelings to have (and they happen)
But the anecdote is easy.
When you start to think you “can’t have” something remind yourself you totally could, you’re just choosing not to. That’s power!
I call this JOMO—The JOY Of Missing Out.
In Season 2 of Shortcut to Slim I introduce this radical concept I refer to as:
The Flip Side of Deprivation
There are always two sides to your deprivation.
#1 There’s depriving yourself of the thing and
#2 what you are deprived of by having the thing.
This simple concept is mind-blowing!
I bet you’ve never thought about it this way…
You can ‘deprive yourself’ of that pie everyone is eating without you, or you can deprive yourself of feeling guilty, overstuffed, and angry that you caved.
Now notice how it’s ALL about the mindset??
Take a moment to think of your own scenario.
For me, I always feel tempted by ice cream and booze…
UNTIL I remember how much I hate being hungover and losing my day. I rarely get a day off, I don’t want to spoil it!
Likewise, if I eat those desserts I know my stomach is going to be a wreck for days. The last thing I need is an irritated GI when I’m doorbuster shopping at the mall!
I’d rather ‘deprive’ myself of a drink or pie than deprive myself of feeling good and having fun and getting to do all that.
Instead of focusing on the perceived enjoyment that you’re missing,focus on the negative that you’re actually AVOIDING…
Focus on your GRATITUDES, what is available to you, and all of the negative consequences you’re skipping by making these good choices.
...no more bloating from those fatty foods.
... no more hangovers.
...no more feeling guilty for eating meat.
Seriously...JOMO is the new FOMO!
Not only will this revolutionize your thinking, but it will actually allow you to then convert that energy to embrace good things:
I LOVE this language: Sobering. Freeing.
When Stephanie focused on her loved ones, she was finally able to see the negative mindset she’d had about all along about food.
Here’s another practical tool:
Instead of scrolling social media in bed at night wallowing in FOMO, jot down three things you’re thankful for from that day.
I guarantee you’ll already see a major shift in your thinking.
After all, it’s called THANKSgiving.
- When you’re feeling the FOMO, ask yourself if you’re really missing out
- Consider the flipside of deprivation.
- Focus on things you can be thankful for
Words of affirmation…
JOMO, JOMO, JOMO
NEXT UP: I’ll be dishing all of my Do’s and Don’ts for being a herbie during the holidays. Should you cave just to please a relative? Let a host know about your dietary restrictions ahead of time? Bring your own plate to a gathering? And more! This will be your first cheat sheet. :)