May 21, 2012
Minimalist Monday: Look For Reasons to Say Yes, not No
Scott (my husband) sent this article to me, Give it five minutes and no joke - it changed my life.
I'm guilty of pushing back -- looking for a reason to say no, than to say yes. I realized I should look for what's right about something, not what's wrong with it.
For example, my designer sent me a draft for a new logo and I started to write "I hate it!" but then I caught myself.
An hour later (5 minutes exaggerated) I came back with a new attitude. I started my email saying what I liked, then explained what I wanted to see changed. I looked for ways to say yes, instead of writing it off completely with a loud NO.
I think my designer was puzzled by my email, because I'm ashamed to say, I hadn't always acted so... so... mature? I don't know what word I'm looking for, but I'm embarrassed I wasn't more of it sooner.
A confession: I typically call things like I see them which means sometimes I'm brutally honest and sometimes I'm a bit of a Debbie Downer.
I see now that I was reflecting what I wanted without considering what someone else may want or need. I don't want things sugarcoated so my delivery is often unsweetened... I love a good cheerleader, but I was once falsely encouraged, led to believe something, and when it didn't happened, I was crushed, and my one wish was that my cheerleader had been a smidgen more forthcoming...
But this isn't about me, or well, maybe it is. The point I'm getting at is when my friends started dropping hints that I could be a little softer, I took note. However, it wasn't until I implemented this "wait five minutes" tactic that I saw real progress with my self-improvement project.
Waiting 5 minutes makes quite a difference! I'm still a work-in-progress, but this whole 5 minutes thing has changed my professional life and personal life for the better.
The overall atmosphere is more positive. Part of my minimalist journey has been to seek out the positive. To have more happiness in my life. And saying yes more, or at least, not rushing to the no, is making a difference.