Back in October, my friend Marie sent me this email:
"Dear Lindsay,
As I was reading this quote from another blogger, I immediately thought of you and your Minimalist Mondays articles. Can you use this quote as a new article on Minimalist Mondays? I think it would do a lot of people a lot of good to be reminded of this... especially for the new the plant-based person in a meat eating world.
"It's not your job to like me - it's mine." - Byron Katie
Love,
Marie"
I liked the quote (and topic) and immediately jotted it down on my editorial calendar in the next open spot (which happened to be today). I was unsure what exactly I'd do with it, but just as fate would have it, two great life experiences tumbled in this past week.
When I first read Marie's email, I thought back to something my mom used to tell me as a child -- when I would make some comment like "Oh well Jenny is allowed to do xyz" and she'd tell me she wasn't Jenny's mother, and I wasn't Jenny.
Her point at the time was that just because Jenny was allowed to do something, doesn't mean I'm allowed to do it. Or that my mom should allow me to do it. It's not that Jenny's mom was right or my mom was right -- they were both doing what they felt was best as parents.
Now that I'm older, and thinking a little more profoundly back on that lesson -- there is a deeper meaning that's so obvious. I am not Jenny.
I am not Jenny.
I will never be Jenny. It's Jenny's job to be Jenny. It's my job to be me. Jenny doesn't even have to like me. That, too, is my job. All that matters is I like myself.
(and here's a secret: You'll never like yourself trying to be someone else or something that you are not).
So be yourself. If someone doesn't like you - that's their loss.
My greatest fear , which I blogged about last year, was that no one would like me and I wouldn't have any friends or fit in socially. I conquered that fear by realizing I have people in my life who love me for who I am. And also, do I really want people in my life who don't like the real me? "Friends" who want me to be someone or something that I'm not?